That is how my brother described the feeling when he found out his ex-girlfriend was engaged. That is how I felt a couple of weeks ago when I found out an ex-boyfriend was engaged. Like the wind had been knocked out of me and it wouldn't come back. I would be fine and then it would hit me again.
He said he wasn't ready for marriage, that he may never be ready.
Apparently it was just me he wasn't ready to marry.
It isn't that I still want to be with him. I can firmly state that I don't and have long since moved on, but the pain is that he got it. He got what I have wanted for a long time. Something he didn't think he wanted. Why him? Why is he the lucky one?
My brother asked me if somewhere deep down I hope he isn't as happy with her as he was with me and that he has regrets. Of course! That's so awful to say, but it's true. But then I saw a picture of him after the engagement and realized, he is happier. Duh.
I've been having this pitty party for about 2 weeks, then I actually got punched in the stomach with the stomach flu. That will teach me I guess. ;P
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