four dates. four guys. one week.

On New Year’s Eve this year I read my 2011 love & romance horoscope. One thing it told me was that for years now Neptune has been invading my sign and impeding my ability to find love. Phew! I was not to blame in any way for my lack of finding marriage these 12+ years since my mission. Pesky Neptune was clearly the culprit of all my love woes and he is finally movin’ on out…

{It's fitting that Neptune was impeding my love life. After all, it is known as the ice giant and it has a fragmented ring system. Anything with a giant icy heart that despises rings is bound to disrupt love.}

I had high hopes in January for love finally being successful for me ;). But it was a slow month at best for dating. Turns out that it took about a month for Neptune to make his full escape. Then voila! Just like that, February entered with a bang. Four dates, four guys, one week. That is a record for me. Two were second or third dates to boot. I’m just excited to know that guys are interested enough in me to go on a second date. Hooray for pesky Neptune’s exit!!!

So do I believe in horoscopes? Not so much, but I will embrace the exit of Neptune whole heartedly if it continues to reap the potential benefits in the love department… maybe I actually like Neptune now.

{YELL}

Dear reader, you better close you ears because I need to yell...

Mr. Future Man...

Where the heck are you???

That's all. I just need to know.

Sick.

Today's post is actually an easy one. I'm sick. Again. I cannot remember a time in my life when I was sick so often as I have been over the past 6 months. It's annoying. 

I'll make this short and sweet. Mr. Future Man, please, please, please, be willing to take care of me when I'm sick. Buy me orange juice, rub my tense shoulders, get me some Vicks vapor rub even though it probably won't help with the raging sinus infection, and just be there for me. Oh and cuddle me while watching a sappy chick flick. That's all I need. All I want right now. 

Surprisingly, this is a hard one for guys I think. At least for the guys I have dated in the past.

Cheerleader

While thinking about what I want from my future Mr. Someone, my mind went to my married siblings. Now I know they don’t have perfect relationships, but they are pretty darn close to perfection in my mind. One thing that I believe really helps the success rate of their marriages is that they are equally each other’s biggest fan and biggest cheerleader. That’s what I want. What I think I actually really need.

Particularly, I want a guy who makes me feel amazing and capable of anything. {I have some security and self-esteem issues dating back from who knows when, but they still occasionally rear their ugly heads in my subconscious}. For example, I am not one of those people who wakes up in the morning looking like I haven’t been assaulted by my pillow and blankets. Lines crease my face, my hair takes on an other-worldly quality (and not in the ethereal other-worldly way), and I look paler and pastier than my pasty day-time self. It isn’t pretty.

I once went on a vacation with friends and there was a guy there and I wanted him so badly to notice me –in a good way {from the pleading in my head on that ‘so badly’ statement, you know it was early college years}. We all crammed into a hotel room and the first morning I woke up and ran into him as he was coming out of the bathroom. He said, no joke, “Whoa. Scary.” CRUSHED! I was absolutely crushed.

What a cheerleader and fan does is lift up and motivate and give courage to keep going. A cheerleader picks you up and tells you you are fantastic, even when you are down by 40 points. He sees past the creased face and crazy morning hair and tells you you're beautiful and worth it.

That’s what my siblings and their spouses seem to do for one another. It is what I am SO looking forward to having one day. And I’m definitely looking forward to being someone’s cheerleader again… I can’t do a high kick, but I can sure do some mad spirit fingers and pump my arms in the air!

Day late {and a dollar short}

The title seems to sum up a few events in my personal life lately. It's as if the universe is trying to tell me to pick up the pace a little and quit goofing off or I might keep missing opportunities.

How is the universe telling me this? For one, I have had the same theme in my dreams each night for 2 weeks! {yes, I admit my subconscious controls this and not the universe, but my subconscious dream self is so out there sometimes that it must be more than just me; I'm just not that creative}. 

What is this dream theme? It is that I should have married my ex-boyfriend who passed away last summer. In each dream he is either alive or I'm talking to him after he has gone and each time he tells me that I should have married him, or someone else tells me this. Then it ends with me feeling a sense of peace that I'll get to be with him one day. I wake up and think "What the Crap!?!" Sense of peace my @$$! How ridiculous would it be if that were reality and I had to wait decade upon decade to be with him? Still, there has to be something to the recurring dream theme. Doesn't there?

Second example of the universe playing the "too late Kara" theme. I had the sixth guy -count it -6th guy -tell me how great I am, how he has such a great time with me, but that he has decided to try and go exclusive with another girl. So sorry. Huh? Apparently I am the positive catalyst for many guys in moving towards marriage -just not with me. What the what? I love it how the guy will tell me this and then want to just chitchat about nothing. Please. Tell me the news and then leave my presence or hang up the phone because I need to cry then rant then cry again then get over it. {that whole cry rant cry thing takes very little time, but is a necessary part of my feeling sorry for myself moment}.

Apparently if I had met these guys just a couple of weeks sooner maybe I'd be the girl they wanted to move towards exclusivity with. I'll never know. What I do know is that I need a new theme in my life.

Sounds like a Monday post to me ...

Hands

Everyone has something that they really notice on a guy -I notice his hands. Obviously his face and overall built is noticed before, but I try to take note of his hands. I love big strong hands that are not dirty {read clean fingernails here} and the fingernails are not nubs or deformed, and that aren't too soft but not too calloused either.

I used to be quite averse to holding hands in pubic for no intelligent reason at all {but when making the decision when you are 17-20, nothing is super intelligent}. I was dumb. Holding hands is awesome and represents a closeness to me that even kissing or cuddling can't duplicate. For me it is a very public symbol to everyone that "hey, this guy is with me {and sometimes it should be hey, yep, he's lucky enough to have me ;)}. 

Hands represent many things to me and are the tools to really show the character of the guy. Hands open doors, hands rest in the small of your back {sigh} to gently guide you through a door or around an object, hands caress, hands write the notes that tell you how he feels. Hands can show so much. 

Simply put, I put a lot of weight in the guy's hands.

Clarification on Kissing

Apparently, my post was a bit misleading. Don't get me wrong. I'm a HUGE fan of kissing. And I don't think it means I have to marry a guy or even date him seriously for me to kiss him. I just have to think he is cute and have the idea that maybe there is potential. Long gone are the days of meaningless kisses that were a part of my teen and early-twenties.

However, the type of kissing that I was writing about last week is the type that actually means something. The kind that gives you butterflies just thinking about. The kind that means you really like him and you know, from his kiss, that he really likes you. The kind that says I love you. That is the type I have been craving, which is why calling booty-call boy just won't cut it. 

So there. Yes, I'll take what I can get; but I really want more.