I. have. a problem.

I have a problem of keeping my head out of relationships. This is one reason why I have been trying so incredibly hard to just live in the now and be present; to not forecast or over analyze. That is so freaking hard to do sometimes though! Ugh!

I've been doing so well lately on this. But some switch turned on the other day and now all hell has broken loose in my head. I’m not sure how to turn off my brain either now that it has gone into what I can only categorize as "crisis mode." It foresees the loss of complete control and it is doing all it can to not allow that to happen. And what is really dumb is that I see this happening and don't want it to happen {right?} but feel at a loss as to how to stop it or control it.

Yes, this duality in me is really obnoxious and disconcerting. I really thought I had control of it but clearly I don’t because I AM FREAKING OUT!!! {inside that is –on the outside I’m calm and collected}.

I need help. I need tips and suggestions. Oh and "just stop doing it" isn’t working. You gotta come up with something better. After all, my brain has launched a full blown assault on my emotions. It's heard all the stuff before and I think I need new material to launch my own surprise attack ;)